Monday, November 10, 2008

A Grieving Grandmother's Persepective...

You can not even guess how honoured and blessed I am to have a mother-in-law like Germaine. This special woman raised a wonderful man who I am lucky to have as a husband. She gave me the gift of a helping hand when my world was sent spinning out of control over and over again in 2008. I owe her and her kind husband Kris so much.

Germaine wrote this blog entry for all of you. I must confess, I found it hard to read because it is still so very raw for me. But it is truly something must be shared with all the grandparents of little ones who are sick. You are not alone in the fear, the sadness and the grieving.

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"Hi Everyone,

Wyatt is my beautiful grandson and brother to his two beautiful sisters Lila and Tressa. His parents name are Melissa and Leonard. This is their story.

Melissa was driving home at 7 pm at night. She had our granddaughters in the backseat and was on a twinned highway. A drunk driver, who shall remained unnamed, came along on this twinned highway on the wrong side and collided with Melissa’s Ford Windstar. She was seven months pregnant at the time. I will not put a name to this drunk driver because I want to tell you Wyatt’s story.

The drunk driver’s Saturn(sedan) collided head on with my precious family and took all semblance of a normal life from them. He then proceeded to run from the scene. Fortunately he was apprehended at his grandmother's house. Melissa suffered a severe concussion and whiplash. My two girls suffered minor cuts and bruises. We will never know what impact the memory of this accident will have on them. Melissa was the one who suffered.

When they arrived at the hospital Melissa was told that her pregnancy was in jeopardy. She was 7 months pregnant and it was a complicated pregnancy due to gestational diabetes. If Wyatt survived the next 48-72 hours he would probably be o.k. Mom of course was in a panic. The concussion only added to the panic she was feeling because she had lost some of her memory. Wyatt did survive beyond the 48 hours and Melissa carried him to term.

On June 15th Wyatt came into this world. He was not breathing and he had heart issues and was rushed to the neonatal unit where they proceeded to try to revive him. He was a fighter and they managed to bring him back but they did not hold much hope. They did not know how long he had been without oxygen. They gave him 24 hours and then they would see. My husband Kris and I were at the hospital at the time with our two granddaughters, Tressa and Lila. We had to take them home with us because Mom and Dad had to stay around the clock to watch and pray over Wyatt. What started out being a routine Cesarean section became a nightmare in a matter of seconds. No one knows how a second can change your whole life. For my son and his wife their world as they knew it ended. Their life became endless hours at the hospital watching to make sure that Wyatt had a parent there at all times. My son’s job ended that day as well because his wife needed his support.

Wyatt has had numerous battles. He had septimia which is an infection you get while in hospital due to all the tubing he had hooked up. He was in serious danger of losing his life again as he did not respond to the antibiotics. They had to send away for special antibiotics to see if they could bring his infection under control. While he was fighting for his life other conditions developed which again threatened to take him. His belirubim count was so high that they did not know if he would be brain damaged from the jaundice. If they could not bring that under control his prognosis would be grim. He could be permanently brain damaged. In the meantime he developed a blood clot in the anterior valve of his heart. I am not a doctor so I am telling you this to the best of my knowledge. If the clot was to break off it would travel to his lung it could cause death or serious breathing problems which in turn may cause him to die. His condition is called Acute Pulmonary Hypertension. Wyatt veins did not constrict or open up at birth which caused him to have many problems. Wyatt is four months old now and still fighting, He is a beautiful boy and he continues to surprise us every day by doing things they did not think he would ever do.
I can honestly say that we have been grieving for months now. You see initially we did not have time to think about it as we took our granddaughters home with us. They did not go home for months as both sets of grandparents took over their care. To this day I don’t know how or why we could do what we did. We had never had our granddaughters for any amount of time on our own. We did not have time to think or feel the drama unfolding at the hospital. Wyatt was baptized that night. He almost lost the battle ….he was paralyzed for the first month and a half of his life. He was intubated, tube fed , poked and prodded in every way and watched around the clock. A literal time bomb….tic tic tic…will he make it.

For his grandfather and I it has been a very strange experience because as I said we did not grieve immediately. We are grieving now. We are grieving the loss of time of the first few months of our grandson’s life.

Look into those beautiful blue eyes and I know you will see what I see… an angel on earth. We love him so much and we love their parents who are doing such an excellent job of keeping their family together.

Thank you for your support,
Wyatt’s paternal grandparents "
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Thank you Germaine, I love you so much...

1 comment:

cheryl leavitt said...

omg melissa i had no idea. what you must have been through was unreal . will be praying for you and your family everyday.

i wanted to let you know something . wyatt was born on the same date of Terry Jrs accident. isnt that something.